Giving up the paci

The very last time Sutton had his paci... sniff, sniff.

The baby turned 3... and had to give up the paci.  He did it... wasn't pretty...wasn't easy...glad we never have to do that again.  As with all else that is Sutton he put up a fight when we took it away.  We talked about it for months and months and he was ready to give it to the baby down the street.  I figured this would be cake, Easton did it with no problem so this should be just as easy.  WRONG. 

Basically for the first week he got up each night every 1.5 to 2 hours... yep it was like having a newborn again.  But we stood our ground, let him cry and whine, etc...  This went on for another week, and finally by the 3rd week I was D.O.N.E.  Now Jake and I are almost always on the same parenting page, we rarely disagree on what should be done or if we do then usually one of us feels very strongly about the particular situation and the other defers and that seems to work out well...not so much this time.

I wanted to give it back after 2 weeks of him getting up because I was primarily the one putting him back in bed, laying down with him until he fell back asleep, sleep walking down to my own bed only to be woken up again an hour later.  I had hit my point and finally thought maybe we had made the wrong decision.  With Easton he only had it at night for 6 months before he gave it up. Sutton on the other hand was OBSESSED and still had it much of the time.  Then I tried to justify it by saying each child is different and we can't expect the same result from a different kid even with the same method. 

Jake was adamant that we took it and we couldn't give it back because it would just teach him that if he cries enough he can have what he wants.  And then Jake sent me all these articles about how the age of 3 is really when you should take it away for dental reasons, and if you take it away you shouldn't give it back... yadda yadda yadda.  He told me if I could find articles to support giving it back he would go along with it.  (yes this is apparently how 2 overeducated people argue... find proof and see whose is better).  I did find a few articles that said it wouldn't hurt his teeth until he was 4, and that sometimes kids need a comfort item.  Jake finally deferred and said fine I am not fighting both of you so just give it back.  YES, I won, I won... but wait.  It didn't feel like a win, it felt more like we were making things worse.

So I called a child psychologist.  He said, "your husband is right, once you take it away you can't give it back."  DANG.  But he said that we went about it all wrong, if he was that obsessed that cold turky wasn't a great idea, and giving it to a baby so close in proximity also not a good idea.  (Sutton had been found wandering around inside our neighbors house claiming "he was looking for something" but would never say what).  He eventually got over it, but not before we had to turn his door knob around to make him stay in his room all night.  That only lasted 3 nights before he decided he would stay in there with the door open.  Ahhh sweet success... but bye bye baby. :(